Tips to Help Prepare an Alcohol-Free Vacation
Episode 297
Are you planning a vacation and want to stay alcohol-free but feeling unsure if you can manage it?
I've been there too. When I stopped drinking, I struggled with the idea that a vacation could be enjoyable without alcohol. For me, alcohol and vacation were intertwined in my belief of what made a trip fun.
It only took one sober trip to realize that vacations could be just as enjoyable without alcohol.
In this episode, I share seven of my favorite tips for preparing for a sober vacation, along with strategies to help you stay on track during and after your trip.
What you’ll hear:
Why we associate vacations with alcohol and how to change the associations one trip at at time
My first sober travel experience and what I learned
The benefits I’ve experienced from traveling without drinking: Keeping my wits about me, longer (slow) days I remember, and not needing a vacation from my vacation.
Seven tips to help you prepare for your vacation before you leave:
1. Define your purpose of the trip.
2. Get clear on what challenges you are concerned about to create a plan when/if they come up.
3. Communicate your intentions not to drink with a travel buddy or someone at home.
4. Focus on Nourishment
5. Invest in something to carry with you as a reminder of your intention to stay a/f.
6. Write down you reasons why you don’t want to drink and make an “if this, then that” plan that you can carry with you.
7. Write a Dear Me letter to open when you return. In this letter, you will talk about how you experienced your vacation without drinking and how grateful and proud of yourself you are.
You are not alone if you’re not that excited about alcohol-free vacations, but I want you to know that if you are choosing not to drink on vacation when you would normally - it is a badass move that can be life-changing.
If you need extra sobriety support, join us inside Team Alcohol-Free.
Inside The Team this summer, we are kicking off our First Annual Sober Gal Summer Camp on July 15th.
Join Team Alcohol-Free
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[00:00:00] Hey there. Welcome to To 50 and Beyond. I am Lori Massicot. I'm the midlife sobriety coach creator of the daily sobriety tool kit and founder of team alcohol free. I am happy to be here with you today. If you are returning back to the podcast, you know, Thank you so much for coming back and if you're new to the podcast, hello there my friend, come on in.
This episode is for you if you are living alcohol free, you're getting ready to take a vacation or you've got a vacation coming up in six months and you're having doubts that you'll be able to enjoy yourself and make it through your trip without drinking alcohol. I'm here to help you prepare and plan your next alcohol free vacation.
It's all in the prep work by preparing yourself both mentally and literally before you travel. You can ease your mind and get excited for traveling without drinking, even if you are a gal who loved a vacation while drinking for decades, like me. Myself by the end of this episode, you'll have some ideas and some maybe [00:01:00] outside of the box tips to help you not only reach the bad ass milestone of sober travel, but also have fun and put more meaning and mindfulness behind your vacation.
I did 30 years of travel while drinking. I didn't take trips that didn't have alcohol as the focus. Starting in my teens, until my mid forties for me, vacations and drinking alcohol went together. Like Joni and Chachi, I am the gal who said, I won't be able to vacation after I stopped drinking.
That was one of those things in the two years that I was going back and forth with, should I quit drinking? Should I not quit drinking was how am I going to vacation? And after I stopped drinking, I was really scared. . So if you feel this way, this is coming from our memories of vacationing while drinking and the message that we are downloading and we see other people you're on vacation, kick back, relax, whoop it up, have a drink.
That's what we do. So it takes time to really shift out of that perspective. [00:02:00] And the way that you do that is with each alcohol free vacation. That you take, even if it's a weekend or it's a two week or a month long trip, you can do this by staying alcohol free. And I know you're going, that sounds so much easier said than done.
I know this, my friend, can we be here for a minute with this? Are we going to allow the challenge of taking those first vacations without drinking, keep us from our mission to be alcohol free from our desire to be alcohol free. Are we going to allow alcohol to take away our joy that we can create on our own?
Are we going to allow alcohol to take away our memories of our travels, our belief that is really building? Cause when we choose to be alcohol free, we start to get that belief. I don't have to have alcohol to have fun or sit on the beach. I don't have to have alcohol to do these things, but it's there because the memory of you being on vacation and drinking, once you get there, and especially if it's a place where you typically would go like once every [00:03:00] year.
You go to this place and that's what you do. It's going to take time to shift out of that. Cause that's what you used to do. And now you're doing things differently. You deserve to unwind and vacation and chill and relax and loop it up without drinking alcohol.
Don't let alcohol come between you and your desire and all the hard effort that you're putting into staying alcohol free, no matter how long it has been. In the beginning, when I stopped drinking, I went all in. Plan A, all in on an alcohol free lifestyle.
What I wanted more than drinking alcohol, but there was this other side of me that That wanted to negotiate. And what if myself and think about the romantic side of drinking and vacationing with a glass of wine or champagne, but in reality, it was never a glass of either. It was. Bottle of both and those bottles took my memories away.
It made me feel like junk the next day only to drink again. Cause the hair of the dog, that was the cycle that I was in. [00:04:00] So when I stopped drinking, I wasn't traveling that much anyway, when I stopped drinking, but we did take a trip. About four months into my sobriety, and I'll talk about that in just a minute.
And I was very concerned about it, like, how am I going to do this? What I was thinking about when I sat down to make notes for this episode, I've traveled to so many different places over the course of my drinking years, those decades that I was drinking, but I took the same vacation.
Over and over again, it was the same focus. It was kind of the same results that I was getting party it up. The days go by really fast. The weeks go by really fast when you're there on vacation. It's like you come home and go, Oh, I need a vacation for my vacation. It was the same thing. I don't kid myself about that.
There's always going to be a reason to drink on vacation until you allow yourself to let those reasons. Come in and out and expect them to while you're there and continue to work on [00:05:00] what you want more than drinking alcohol. And the reasons why I love a good alcohol free vacation today, for one thing, what I just mentioned, I don't need to come home and feel like I need another vacation from my vacation when my husband and I traveled together.
And this was before my son was born. We were together for two years before we got married. Then we were married for two years before we had our son Spence. We would take trips together and it would always be the same thing. Go drink our faces off, come home and feel like crap and then have to go back to work.
And then the other thing that I love about vacationing alcohol free is that. The time goes by slower. And so Bill and I would always do the countdown. Like we would go somewhere for a week and be like Wednesday, like, Oh my gosh, we only have a few more days left. And we would count that down. It's like, we're not thinking about that now when we go places, we're just really grateful and happy to be there.
And our time is spent more intentionally [00:06:00] and we're making the most out of it. We're not just focused on drinking. That's one of my greatest benefits. Another perk that I feel, especially as I've gotten older, is having my wits about me, being focused on where we are, what's happening. I really can't imagine myself drinking now because of the way I drank and the way that I would just check out and be all over the place and kind of wild. So I'm very grateful for that.
Like, Flying or driving anywhere, doing anything. It's just like, I like to have my wits about me and I like to know where we are. Yeah. Cause I'm kind of a nervous traveler. So if that's you and you're thinking, well, I'm a nervous traveler too. And I don't want to fly, try it without drinking and then make sure that you are really mindful of how you are feeling and what you're experiencing and allow yourself to look at the other side of it.
Are you grateful for that? Cause I feel like a lot of us, we don't realize it because we've been drinking. It's like, that's the story. I have to have a drink when I [00:07:00] fly, but when I fly and I'm not drinking, huh? I feel maybe a little bit, even more relaxed. See how it goes for you. You can go into a vacation with a negative attitude and be resistant to enjoying yourself.
That is totally, you're right. Don't fake it till you make it that keeps us drinking to drown out how we truly feel own how you feel and really practice making your vacation, a different experience, it doesn't have to be better or life changer, anything like that go into it with neutral expectations say to yourself, this is going to be different because I'm not drinking.
You don't deserve to add the added pressure of pretending to enjoy yourself when you're not. I know if there's other people around, of course, we're going to suck it up. We're going to put on a happy face. We don't want to be Debbie Downers during vacation, but give yourself some time alone. Also to just really reflect on how you feel.
And it's okay if you feel that way, I saw something the other day and I can't remember who it came from, but it was just like, go into your vacation [00:08:00] and have this mindset of this is going to be really easy and this is going to be enjoyable and then what happens, like if you get there and I'm just being really honest, if that was me and I.
Be like, well, I don't really find this enjoyable and that's what I'm supposed to do. I just feel like you keep it neutral and you discover how you feel about alcohol free vacations when you're there.
This most exciting news, if you're lucky enough to take a vacation because not everyone gets vacations, is that you have the opportunity to change the perspective. Now, your beliefs, the way you do vacation, all it takes is the first few sober vacations and may even be the first one to change the association to you being on vacation without drinking.
Chances are you aren't traveling monthly. Maybe you take a few weeks off a year to travel. You're putting your hard earned money into it. You're investing into it. Make this very special for yourself. My first vacation, as I mentioned briefly, was about four [00:09:00] months or so into my sobriety. It was different. I was nervous that I couldn't do it. I was going to visit one of my very best friends up north. My whole family was going.
It was the end of the year. It was that week between Christmas and New Year's. I didn't think I was going to have fun. I was nervous about them being around me and drinking. I was flying and I had never flown without drinking in the past. I had that story. If I fly, I have to drink. I was scared. Very scared.
And I just remember the whole time I noticed the time was going slower. I felt like we weren't rushed and I didn't need to come home and have that other vacation. I enjoyed exploring and taking our time without the need to drink. We were in San Francisco is my son's first time. So we really had a lovely experience, but I was feeling it the entire time that I was there. I just stuck to my Y power. I call it the reason why I didn't want to drink. And that guided me through. And then also having conversations about it, talking to my husband about how [00:10:00] I was feeling, Talking to my friend about how I felt, that was very helpful to me. I always felt like I had to test myself and prove to myself that I could do certain things. And for this reason, I want to encourage you not to go into vacation as a test or with the intention of proving to yourself, you can do it.
That's going to come after you do it. I get it. It's like, we got to make sure we can do these things.
Cause if we can't, what does that mean? You've got to go back to drinking. You can do it focus on. The purpose of your vacation and some of these ideas that I'm going to give you as far as getting prepped and planning your trips. Focus on the memories you are making, focus on the conversations that you are having, focus on the next day, waking up after you wanted to drink, but you didn't go, Oh my gosh, I feel so refreshed.
I'm going to go on a little walk or I'm going to go and do something really special for myself. Focus on that. Focus on what you are experiencing that you wouldn't have experienced if you were drinking. What you deserve is a vacation. You don't need a vacation from [00:11:00] when you get home because you're tired and run down and feeling the aftermath of drinking alcohol.
You deserve that. Let me give you a few ideas for preparing for your alcohol free vacation.
No matter if this is your first vacation or your fifth or more, if you're feeling like, Oh, I'm just feeling a little bit like I got that tinge, and that memory's coming up, number one, define your purpose. I know we're not going on vacation to spend our money on alcohol and this is not a vacation to go and drink.
But again, the story is there. So write down your purpose. What do you hope to achieve? What is this vacation for? And how do you want to feel when you return? I really suggest If you don't already have a journal, getting a journal. And if you do have a journal, getting a journal just for your vacation this could be like one of those what's the name of that? You know, the composition books or something like you could just have something that is really easy, accessible, and you can, it's easy to access. You could pull it out and you can make [00:12:00] some notes to yourself, or you could. Do some doodles, especially if you've got a long flight, you can get some pins out and do some coloring on it and really define that purpose for yourself.
Number two, this is something that can ease your mind. Get clear on any challenges that you are experiencing. Get clear on anything that you are concerned or worried about. For example, for me, that first vacation, I was definitely worried about flying. So I would just write down something like I am.
Concerned about flying and not drinking. What is my plan when I get on the plane? Well, I'm going to order a diet Coke or whatever it is. I'm not going to order alcohol and write that down for yourself. If there's something about the place that you're going or the people that you are with, write it down so you can see it on paper and then look at it.
What else can I do for myself ? And how bad is it? What is that plan for myself? Number three, this is very helpful, especially if you're concerned with the people that you're with, if they're going to enable you or encourage you [00:13:00] to drink, or you feel like I'm just going to have to drink. Cause I'm a random communicate how you feel put it out there to at least one person that you're traveling with, or one person that you have at home that you can talk to and say, Hey, I'm going on this vacation and my intention is to be alcohol free and let them know. I feel like that is just a backup plan. It's not like I need this extra accountability.
I know you can do it yourself. I know that you can do this, but why not have somebody who knows your intention? It hits a little bit differently. And plus, if they're with you and this is somebody who's going to support you, how cool is that? I hope , To goodness that if we're traveling with people, they are going to be supportive of us.
But if you have something coming up like a work trip or something like that, you don't feel like you have that support there. You want to even talk about this. Totally get it. Find somebody outside of that trip. And let it out [00:14:00] of your system
so they know, and let them know what you need. If they're with you, say, this is what I need you to do. And it could be, if I even start to talk about, Oh, it'd be so nice to have a drink. Cause I used to do that all the time to my husband. I wanted to see what he was going to say a lot. And even if he said, yeah, why don't you have a drink?
I would have said, no, I'm not having a drink. Sometimes we just like to talk about it. It's okay. Sometimes I just want to say things that I don't really want to do, but I just need to get it out, but ask for what you need. So if this was my husband, I would say, if I am saying that I want to drink, please know that I don't mean that.
And please back me up by not saying, I'm going to go and get you a drink. It's hard to do. I know, but we got to start asking for what we need from our people in our lives. The fourth idea for you, make sure that you are eating and hydrating, eating foods that you enjoy, letting yourself a little bit loose.
So you have something to look [00:15:00] forward to while you're there and and Drinking water, drinking non alcoholic beverages. Most of the places that we go to today will have some sort of, if you're a mocktail gal or a zero proof drink, anything like that, I always just say, make sure that when you order something, especially if it's in a bar or a restaurant or anything like that, make sure that you double check is there alcohol in this?
A lot of times those drinks will look very similar and it's just something for me. Call me paranoid. I don't care. I remember reading Rob Lowe's book. I can't remember which one it was. And he said, I just got on a plane and ordered an orange juice.
And it was a mimosa and I took one sip and Rob Lowe's been sober for over 20 years. And he said, did this break my sobriety? No, but he was very hesitant to order another orange juice. So just a side note there, make sure you're checking to make sure there's no alcohol in it.
Number five, this is outside of the box. This is [00:16:00] what I want you to do before you go on vacation. Invest in something that is for this vacation that has a purpose behind it of you being alcohol free. For example, buy yourself like a really pretty bracelet with maybe something inspirational on it, or buy yourself a necklace or something like you could wear where you know that this is me, my intention.
To enjoy myself, not drink alcohol, and this is what I bought myself as a reminder. I love a good bracelet. I used to have a bracelet that said believe on it. I don't used to have it. It's somewhere in my very impressive jewelry stash. Probably have to really clean it. I don't wear jewelry that much anymore.
It was really pretty I brought it. Bill bought it for me and Catalina is kind of like after we had Spencer that first year we went to Catalina for a weekend and he bought me this. really pretty sterling silver bracelet and it had like an ID tag and it just said believe on it and I would wear [00:17:00] that places after I stopped drinking.
I've probably have talked about this before, but why not go ahead and get yourself something and have it on you so you can see it. The next suggestion, number six, write your reasons why you don't want to drink down. I would go and get it laminated somewhere. You can make it like a little bookmark.
I have one of our gals inside team alcohol free who did this. It was super cool. So this is something that you can have on you as well. And going back to that number two suggestion, when you get clear on what challenges that you're concerned about facing, you can write down on this card as well.
If this happens, then I'm going to do this and have a plan in place for yourself. So If I get on the plane and I feel like I'm going to want to drink, I'm going to order a diet Coke or whatever it is right away and just squash it. Number seven, the last one to get you prepared, write a dear me letter.
This is a nice letter that you write to yourself that you are going to open when you [00:18:00] get back from vacation. So in this letter, congratulate yourself on your vacation spent free from alcohol. Talk about what you experienced while you were there. Cause this is you saying, this is my intention. This is how I want to feel.
This is what I experienced. I didn't wake up with a hangover. I was clear and present. I'm going to remember every single moment of this trip, write it down, put it in a nice little envelope for yourself, maybe get like a heart sticker or something, stick it on the outside. And it's just going to say your name on the front of it.
And when you get home, you're going to open that. And you are going to be so proud of yourself. I'm just excited for you. Just thinking about it. Yeah. Pondering this idea for something that I have coming up. I'm going to do it. Yeah. Dear me letters. They're really cool. You can take it with you as well if you want to read it, but I think it's really cool to have something waiting for you at home, like you could put it in somewhat like a drawer. Where only you open that drawer. [00:19:00] If it were me, I would put it in my bathroom where I have my top drawer is just my stuff.
Nobody ever goes in that. Like, there it is. Waiting for me to open and to read. Okay. So those are your prep tips. The next part of this is during your vacation, just a few ideas. When you get to the hotel or the Airbnb or wherever you're staying at a relative's house, get acclimated and get organized Any other tools that you brought with you?
Let's say you are somebody who loves essential oils, or you have some books with you, you know, set everything up. Like these are my tools to help me stay alcohol free. If you wrote down all of your reasons why, if you have an, if this, then that plan can put that there, like organize it.
So, you know, where it is. And then number two. When you wake up in the morning, remind yourself of why you are choosing yourself over alcohol. , if you haven't already downloaded the daily sobriety toolkit that I created, this would be a great tool for you to carry with you on vacation, because I have three [00:20:00] audios that you can listen to during the day.
When you get up in the morning, remind yourself today, I am choosing myself over alcohol and then state that reason why and affirm yourself. I would do it looking in the mirror in the bathroom and say it to yourself throughout the day. Cause that reason does matter. The purpose of this vacation, your why power, it all matters.
Then enjoy yourself with the expectations that. Drinking thoughts are going to come up. And when they do, you have a plan. You can ease up a little bit on yourself. You went into this trip, you're on vacation, you're not drinking.
When they come up, greet them, thank them for coming up and then remind yourself that it's okay. I don't have to drink because they're there. I'm going to go live my life, snorkel, walk on the beach, wherever you are, and enjoy yourself as much as possible.
The next part of this is when you get home. First, open that letter to yourself. You wrote that Dear [00:21:00] Me letter to yourself. Reflect and celebrate yourself. Celebrate that badass milestone of an alcohol free vacation. Reconnect with your support system, if you have a support system. It's so helpful and making sure that you have somebody at home who understands what you are going through, reconnect with a friend or someone that you're working with, either a coach or therapist, whatever, get reconnected and get started back up with that.
plan that you have in place already and take care of yourself, have some downtime. And if you feel those post vacation blues, know that those are going to pass. And again, celebrate how cool it is that you took this alcohol free vacation and that you don't need another vacation.
To come off of this vacation because you feel more refreshed and vibrant. I'm with you. I know how difficult this is. And this is the reason why I wanted to put this episode out for you. We are in the beginning of July when this comes out [00:22:00] 2024. And no matter when you're taking vacation, come back to this episode and remind yourself that You deserve a vacation where you're not drinking to escape life.
You are living life and you are learning how to do life without drinking alcohol. And each time you travel or you do anything that you associate with drinking alcohol, you're changing your perspective and you're giving yourself the opportunity to find all the great stuff that you can experience without drinking.
And it's there for you. Allow yourself to get yourself there. So going back , find that purpose of your vacation, get clear on the challenges, right. And if this, then that plan down for yourself, communicate with someone either going with you or somebody at home, that support system, that this is what I need from you.
Have somebody available via text. Like I'm going to be reaching out to you. Focus on what you're eating. Enjoy your food. Focus on your hydration. Make sure you double check that there's no alcohol in those fancy drinks you may be ordering at a bar or [00:23:00] restaurant.
Invest in something that will be that intention for you to not drink while you're there so you can remind yourself of it. Write your reasons why you don't want to drink down, laminate it, make a nice little bookmark for yourself get that, Journal or composition book or anything that you want to do to work on while you're there and have fun with it Just writing about your experiences documenting this vacation for yourself and have that dear me letter Waiting for you at home don't test yourself while you're there. Just be with it. You are not alone if you're not that excited about alcohol free vacations, you're maybe doubting yourself that you can do it. But I want you to know that if you're choosing not to drink on vacation when you would normally it is a badass move that can be life changing for you but go into it with neutral expectations.
To see, let it be different this time and document it as much as possible. If you want sobriety support right now, go and check out team alcohol free. This is my [00:24:00] online coaching community. I created this place just for midlife gals. We can come together and learn how to do life without drinking alcohol and lift each other up inside the team.
This summer we are kicking off our first annual sober gal summer camp on July 15th. There's fun stuff happening. You're going to get extra meetings. We are rallying around each other this summer, for sure, because I know that it is a challenge. Enrollment will close on July 1st and will not open again until sometime in the fall. Check it out. If you're interested in having me as your coach and having a support system, if you're lacking that right now, you deserve to have support and other women around you who are doing the damn thing. I'm really proud of you.
I will see you next week with a brand new episode until then my friend take care of yourself. Peace.
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